2004-01-12 - 3:35 a.m.
Love is an interesting subject, interesting because it is exciting, boring, empty and everywhere. Love is a little like England. Love is our best unknown terroritory. The trees when they were first glimpsed were logged and sent down the river immediately. A couple generations or days later, the lumberjack is always left thinking, "maybe I should have proceeded more slowly, there's nothing left here." Either the logger proceeds too quickly and he fires himself or his speed is not fast enough and he is fired by someone else, either way the search for new work continues. New work is exciting, liberating and most of my friends are turning readily to marriage. William Blake has a great saying "he who tries to trap a joy doth the winged life destroy but he who kisses the joy as it flies lives in eternities sunrise." If the trees grow quickly it helps but there is always that period waiting for the barreness to gain foliage again. Maybe this is why people turn to marriage, the fear of silence, a break in the song, of being alone for a little while.
There is a safe forest with root systems interconnected but when one goes down it takes another with it. The birds can be heard always singing but usually in the distance. Then there are those unexpected trees growing in the middle of nowhere by themselves which always raises the questions why and how? These trees are attractive to lightening and must take the full force of the elements upon themselves, they offer a nice resting stop for birds and though there are periods of silence when the noise making creatures stop by to rest it has much meaning for the tree. It is January and I met a tree a few hours ago in the city lights that was still trying to hang on to its leaves. I tried to pull the dead leaves off for the tree but there were too damned many of them. Understanding seems a commonly, or petite bourgeois accepted minunderstanding so I'll just try to leave it be a question mark flying languidly into an extended horizon. Passenger thoughts are faithless and harmless when directed to ears without an ego. Release and letting go, when fishing, is as exciting as the catch whatever the subject, spirit or woman. Earlier tonight I saw a ghost and for about ten minutes became a Christian again before I realized that the ghost was just light being reflected upon the open door in the room with plenty of windows, excellent ventilation where the best conversation of my life was just held.
