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2004-01-22 - 12:56 a.m.

I was plumbing through the iliad today and the achaens are about to win the war by spreading warm miracle whip on sandwiches given in a supposed truce. helen was able to escape the city and save the city b/c she spent her time in captivity sewing a pillow in the shape of an ass. After Hectors death Prium grew sad, even when he recovered his sons speared body, thankful that the achaens never had a chance to lop off the head but he wanted more, he wanted revenge. He was powerless next to the God's so planned out his revenge in his sleep making the Gods laugh and he rested his weary head on the most beautiful womans ass. Helen soon lost feeling. Hecuba was in mourning and not capbable of jeolosy still cupping her scented breast in her right hand waiting for her noble son to return. Helen wanted Menelaus' warm embrace and despite the sacking of her maidenhead, being turned into booty, she wanted virginal illusion and she was not going to get there by allowing Prium to violate the evolutionary model of her milkers. She traded the weight of 9 heifers away for the equivelent of 3 in cloth. The river Scamander was blocked by Argives so she was of no complaint. For a needle she called to the Sea Nymph Thetis immortal mother of the swift footed Achilles whom she held secretly in high esteem. She sacrificed the last white lamb in the city and Thetis out of breath and still weepy after Dr. Phil condoned her decision to bed down with a mere mortal and seal her beloved sons fate, was feeling generous. She pulled out one of her golden hairs and was set upon turning her loose hair into a needle for Helen. Helen, bitch that she was, began to floss out the lamb trope that she had kept from Thetis in sacrifice. After witnessing such deception, Thetis cursed the wench, Helen, cause of such atrocity, why hast thou forsaken me. "Me was Hongry baby," say Helen all mississippi like. At this light, tensions reducing response, Thetis allowed a deep belly laugh that Zeus son of Cronus heard and mistook for another of Thetis' deep orgasms with mere mortals. Thetis said, "you so funny baby," echoing Helens cantation and loosed another golden hair and gave Helen her needle.

Helen went on to stitch Prium a pillow in the shape and with texture of a perfect womans ass. Prium after waking 3 days later, relaxed as never before had an idea. He ordered another pillow to be made and to be sent to King Agammemnon. Upon reception, Ag. was hesistant but after resting his weary head, and deigning the pillow a gift not among men, he decided to call off the war. "Let them keep their Helen, seamstress of the ass pillow." As a token of peace, he sent warm miracle whip sandwhiches and took the city by plague.

 

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