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2004-03-23 - 10:59 p.m.

I saw the David Chappelle show and he did a funny skit as a potential black juror who sticks up for his brothers with eyes away from the evidence. The funniest part, in my opinion, was when he was defending video taken of R. Kelly pissing on a 15 year old girl. "I didn't see it, for all I know that could be digital piss, they can do anything with technology." The description of M. Jackson's penis was pretty funny too. "It's probably a regular penis, a shaft, a head, some balls and if he has any hair it's probably permed with some glitter sprinkled on it for good measure." After that "Undercover Brother" was on where David plays a character called the Conspiracy Brother. The man is trying to keep a black president down and whiten up the culture with chemically altered fried chicken. Doogie Howser M.D. is their reference check and shows the Undercover Brother a film that compresses white culture The question that demonstrates that Undercover Brother has absorbed the clips is something about "In the 3rd season of Friends what object is on Ross's nightstand." It's a good point b/c even for a white to be fully assimilated, to not watch friends is to hear so much Greek at the office. I'm always keeping an eye on those terror prone coworkers of mine who don't watch Friends and Full House reruns and if they are not eating at least one hotdog a week, that's when they really start to slip into Islam. They start doing Sura's and making tongue slips. "Yes next weekend I'm driving to Medina, I mean Moline." Anyway, I thought Neil Patrick Harris had probably died by now. I was recently at a restaurant where another 80's sitcom star Fred Savage had his picture taken as one of several celebrity-patrons, among them were Bill Clinton and certainly another Randay Savage. So yes, the Savages were in full force at this beautiful aviary-Mexican Restaurant with water coursing among the customers. The sad part was that everyone else had their pictures taken in large groups or at least attempted to hug or grope a waitress, Sean Eliot looked to be going after a waitress tit and Richard Rodriguez was going for the polyester outline of his waiters junk, but poor Fred was all alone. The only other noble Savage appearances that I know lately, besides his younger brother in "Boy Meets World," was when Fred appeared as a Mole in Austin Powers. "Moley, moley, moley."

Another show that I watched and have never seen before is called "Scrubs." I might start planning my Tuesdays around that show. The pacing of the jokes is Barilla assembly line fast like the Simpsons, though not as subtle but the way the narration works with the brief and often contradictory nature of inner dialogue makes the show run smooth as a book. Speaking of books, I read the first half of a good book today called "Mona in the Promised Land." It's a coming of age novel (Gasp) but it is full of fresh UpDike like observations and very funny. First of all just the idea of a third generation Chinese American who wants to follow Judaic traditions is funny. Her mother wants her to play the piano and take up ice skating but she wants to play an anti-orchestra instrument like the Mandolin or the Keytar and takes up rock climbing. When she goes out to eat the strawberry on banana splits twirl psychadelically and the vans are parked in the parking lots like people at a party. Some are social and there's always the anti-social drunk cool guy too shiney too mix, hiding behind a spider plant or tree. Her boyfriend has rough hands because he is too much man for lotion. There are many more but I got to go b/c Scarface is starting.

 

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