2013-03-23 - 10:49 a.m.
No Cheese No Cheese
No Cheese for me
No Cheese No Cheese
No Cheese for me
Back when I was 18 full of courage
I had the strongest cheese urge
My cheese urge was out of control
If there was a cheese police they would have put me on parol
I tried to sublimate with plenty peanut butter
But when I went to pick a cheese I would start to stutter
I could eat cheeses all day and all night
I had such capacity and ceiling it would give me fright
Shredded, triangulated, even a whole wheel.
The world produced so many cheese varietals I had to steal
I liked that sophisticated Swiss
Havarti melted with a sprig of mint was my mistress
Gouda would yell at me and get all in my face
She made me feel guilty and I�d feel disgraced
Gouda left me with a bad taste in my mouth
I�d go to the closest deli and try to turn things around
And I�d see that fresh cheese glistening
Visually I�ve always been listening
I had to have it right then and there
I had to have it I would always stare
No cheese no cheese
No cheese for me
Nacho Cheese
Nacho Cheese
No cheese no Cheese
No cheese for me
I was a cheese addict
Everyone near me had just about had it
I�d take 12 steps quickly away
And 18 steps back towards it nearly everyday
I even liked that aged cheese
Idiosyncratic, rare and erratic
I liked that fresh cheese
Bland, but soft and so delicate
Sometimes I�d get desperate
I�d drive around town
And find the delis picked clean
No exotic cheeses in sight
Just the regular cheap stuff every night
So I�d go home to the kitchen
Or as I called it �the lab�
I�d make my own cheese
It was some of the best I ever had
I heard the rumors of a city of blessed cheeses
Down in Mexico, so I hopped on a Greyhound bus
And Three weeks and 800 miles later I was a muss
Searching the dustry streets of Tuxpan
I heard the rooster crow, searched my wallet and got my coupon
Hunting for the ancient Mexican cheeses
I found villages, city squares and pictures of Jesus
Survived Cortez, Mayan purity
When I was 18 I lost my luggage
And this was how I became encouraged
I had a little piece of that Hawaiian cheese
Arteries clogged I was brought down to my knees
Now drowning in the smooth and creamy seas of cheese
Had to call in off, wrap it, close the fridge and beg please
