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2013-12-23 - 5:51 a.m.

Children's Story and my song called Mr. Pickles
1. Mr. Pickles is a mutt
2. Mr. Pickles has a vinegary scent
3. Mr. Pickles was born illigitamately
4. His mom ran off with a Beagle
5. Dad got hit by a garbage truck
6. Mr. Pickles has just three legs
A. He is faster than a 4 leg dog
B. His whiskers are very sensitive
7. He learned from a washed up lab
all about how to survive the street
8. Mr. Pickles knows dozens of tricks
He will heel by strangers out on walks to avoid getting snagged by the pound.

How to make a cut poem
1. get a bunch of magazines
2. need scissors
3. need glue
4. paste words and phrases
5. define a goal: "today you look
for sensory words"
6. define a limit: "two four line stanzas and lest you forget that stanzas be the paragraphs of poetry

Criticism
On 6.12.11 while wading through the polluted academic waters of online journals that one percent of one percent bother to read, I came across the used condom or Coney Island Whitefish of a word "heteronormativity." Now, back in 2011, as a young chap, fresh from finishing school, I had no clue what heteronormativity means. Today, as a world-weary seasoned fop, whose trust fund has gone the way of the Las Angelos River, I still don't know what the word means. Sure folks, if I wanted I could probably figure it out. Use my plebian context clue decoding skills, those failing me, at last resort I could look the term up, perhaps in a dictionary about Critical Theory. But like like an obese man surrounded by a sumptuous spread of foreign and domestic peanut butters, banana and vanilla flavored moon pies, and a cheese situation that would have a person reaching for their Lipitor just by looking, I must resist. For I have stuffed myself on the obeseagenics of polysyallables long enough and shall stay the peanut butter spoon of learning their pronunciation forever. What does heteronormativity mean specifically that can't be paraphrased in a few less exotic words? One consolation of adopting the word would be that it rolls so easily off the tongue and comes in at just eight unwieldgy syllables. Not bad for an academic term folks!

History
History is so freaking dull, unless of course you take great pleasure in surfing the weird waves of causality all day long.

My new sideline business called Saltego boutique Friend: A unique expressway out of the abyss.
Get up to four hours of my friend services per month free of charge. As a conceirge friend, I will travel up to once a week within a five mile radius of my house. After that, all travel costs must be reimbursed at the rate of 67 cents on the mile. As a confidant who is in the service of helping you to get your life back on track, you will feel empowered and learn to take ownership over your decisions. To be a client in my rapidly expanding practice will involve a rigorous screening and application process.

Here's what clients are saying about saltego's boutique friend services

"It's better than suicide"
Bob from Dallas

"I would pay at least five dollars an hour, maybe even six dollars, for this service."
Connie from Akron

"I was able to lower my Paxil dose from 1 milligram to 0.5 milligrams after just one month of services"
Debbie from Modesto

Criticism about "flexibility"
In the year 2003 I remember hearing people describing themselves as being flexible as if the business school term was somehow a personal virtue and mark of excellent character. The term originally came from businesses using variable schedule shifts to maximize profitability by sending employees home if there was a drop in work load. I forget where this practice started, but if you own the business, it is a great idea, if you work for the business, it is a terrible idea. Although I met severable people who would say things like "Sure I can go to Chili's instead of Applebees tonight. I'm flexible," I never actually worked for a flexible business until August of 2005 when I took a position at Hospital Corporation of America in San Antonio, Texas as a Certified Respiratory Therapist. I worked three or four 12-14 hour shifts a week. Sometimes I worked from 6 a.m. to 8 pm. and other times it was from 6 pm to 8 am. My schedule was at least boldly outlined and mapped out months in advance, but the department called it "flexible scheduling" and they would call sometimes and say "Our numbers are down today, so we'll only need you for a 10 hour shift." Or, "We really need you to come into the hospital right now. We just don't have the staffing today."

In any case, that was my experience working flexible shifts and like Bartelby the Scrivener: "I prefer not to."

Haiku
The tree is talking
Everything outside is alive
Squirrels eat loudly

Haiku
The canopy sways
Oak trees dance in a ballet
wind blows and conducts

Physics: It is Neutrino time
Alright, cut the Higgs Boson bullshit Johnson, for there's a new particle in town. Lay out your welcome mats folks, start stirring those mimosas, and give a big round of applause for...THE...NeuTRINO!. Ladies and Gentleman, it's neutrino time.


Book Project
My newest book project I'm working on: Self Help book called "Sympathy on E: How to restore your compassion for others and feel better in the process.

The thesis behind it is based on a metaphor of a car with a tank of gas that is running low. The idea is that sympathy is something that we fill up on with close friends, transformative conversations and solitude (often in deep conversations with authors dead and living who we will not have the fortune to meet with in real life) Many people, unwittingly, exhaust their sympathy reserves by listening to the news, reading the newspaper and bothering themselves emotionally with external events over which their concern and bleeding sympathy will have no effect. Individuals never affect the outcome of these events anyway, and there needs to be a self-imposed limit to emotional energy being wasted on the events.

One criticism would be that by turning away from the world and going inward, it demonstrated an unconcern and callousness. I would counter the criticism with something along the lines of "What exactly are you helping anybody in Darfur with by knowing all the details about what is happening in Darfur?" If people want to go out and take action, then awesome. But the problem is that most people sit, like cowards in between action and inaction, in a place where they comfortably read the news with a cup of coffee and a buscuit each morning.

So the book is a guide about who and what to avoid and who and what to embrace. For example, it may seem like social networking is a good way to fill up those sympathy reserves, but in reality, social networking is serving the superstructure of liberalism and it's sole function is to provide the necessary lubrication for the machine which is jealousy. So if you actually look at what is going on with Facebook and Instagram, these services are the exact opposite of liberating services. They turn people into mini-celebrities who document the exciting things they do and take beautiful pictures of recent acquisitions and beatiful material items. When people look at Facebook or Instagram they become jealous and are more likely to go out and chase the dream that they have seen on the dreamy Instagram photos. "Oh shit, maybe I do need a high-end German sink, they look so well-made." The real purpose of these services is not to forge genuine bonds between people and solidarity, it really functions to further atomize, divide and make people envy each other. In other words, if you want to restore your natural compassion, don't go on Instagram ever. Instead look at unfiltered life.

My book also has a detailed list of how to recognize a complaint. Complaints take many forms: sarcasm, criciticism, anger, substance abuse, excessive intake or doing of anything, even restlessness or the inability to sit still for extensive periods of time. With the lenses I provide readers in my book, readers will be able to spot a complainer after listening to their speech patterns for a few minutes and coding the speech for negatives. And there is nothing wrong with complainers per se, it is just that if a person has too many complainers around them, it becomes hard for natural compassion to bubble effortlessly up and easily flow. Think of it like the Ogalla aquifer, yes, there is enough forever and for everybody, but some people are taking more than their share and the resevoir is being exhausted. So recognizing who in your circle is taking more than their fair share of your sympathy is crucial for well-being.

In the book I also show how to cultivate sympathy and how to capture wild free compassion. It's out there everywhere, you just have to know how to sense it.


 

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